In article <KJB8zMdlgcSb092yn@islandnet.com>, martinh@islandnet.com says...
>
>Dylan gave me permission to post this; perhaps it could be webbed
>too in the sections on ex-scns speak, experiences in scn, etc.:
>
>***
>
>When I was 14 years old my relationship with my father took a turn
>for the worse. Once we had been the best of friends and then we just
>started disagreeing on everything we could think of. We would yell
>at each other for what seemed like hours. This problem was getting worse
>and there seemed no hope for us, until my uncle one day told us of
>a course we could take that would help us communicate better. From
>the start my father was very happy about this. So the very next week
>we went down to the Santa Cruz mission to sign up for the Comm course.
>this course only cost 50.00. The very next day we were on course
>learning how to communicate with each other. We did all of the TRs
>OT TR0 - TR4. while on the comm course I signed up for an auditor
>seminar and the next week I was auditing dianetics, I as well learned
>self analysis.
>
>Well, my fathers and my relationship seemed to get turns better,
>we were just coming away, life was just grand. We started hanging
>around my uncle and his wife a lot (both in scn). we started hanging
>less and less around the rest of our family. A couple of years passed
>and we were on lines (neat scn term) at the concord mission. I was
>doing my upper indoc TRs
("Upper Indoc[trination] Training Routines" = indoctrination into
Hubbard's way of thinking, speaking, hearing, responding, controlling
others, etc.)
>and taking a student hat course. This Scn
>stuff was pretty cool and all but I also wanted hang out with my
>teenage friends, soon this got me into trouble and I went through
>my first Scn ethics cycle (it sucked balls!) I was 15 and writing
>something about how I will never let down my group etc.. As the
>months went on my father took me out of school and sent me to
>live with my great-grandparents.
>
>Of course I had to attend course at the mission. I was now 14 and
>living out in the country (6miles from town) I was to stay with them
>and take care of them, they were very old. I did not like this very
>much as I wanted to goof off with my friends. Pretty soon I started
>taking money from my grandparents and talking an older friend to
>drive out and pick me up so we could hang out and party. After a year
>of this and about three visits from very beautiful Sea Org members(all
>women) my great grandfather died one night in his sleep. I fled to a
>friends house and lived with him for a few months. I was starting to
>feel human again and living in a good home with good people. My father
>showed up to collect me. He let me know that he had found out about
>me taking money from my grand parents. He was not sure what to do with
>me, but my aunt and uncle knew of a program called the RPF at FLAG.
>my father took me down to the Concord mission to see a Sea Org recruiter
>After a RPEC
("Repair of Past Ethics Conditions")
>and about 5hrs of everybody telling me to, I signed my
>Sea Org contract. My father let me know that I was booked on a flight
>tomorrow to Tampa Florida.
>
>There I became a messenger for the commodore, as well I was a kick ass
>missionaire. I did a lot of missions at and around FLAG. I also was
>getting into ethics trouble for false reporting mostly. I believe this
>was my way of handling the constant hill ten's
("Hill 10" = an emergency necessating rapid handling, usually of a
financial, public relations or legal nature)
>in the Sea Org. I found
>the only was to have sex in the Sea Org was to get married. So I found
>a beautiful girl and got married at 17 yrs (I had to lie and say I was
>18) Heck I was a virgin and did not like it! actually I really fell in
>love. I choose to believe that I did at least. Life again was good I
>loved Scientology I loved my very beautiful wife. Not in that order
>I knew that I loved my wife a lot more then Scn, My wife however did
>love Scn more then me.
>
>A year passes and my wife is up-lines
("Up-lines" = in senior or higher level cult management)
>at LRH Archives and I am working
>in the Action Bureau of CMO IXU
("Commodore's Messenger Organization Int[ernational] Expansion Unit")
(very cool org!) I had a great time.
>Living in L.A was a trip, boy that hospital stinks! I was trying to get
>clearance to go up lines and be with my wife. As we had been apart for
>most of the last year. Finally I got clearance to go up lines and off I
>went. I must admit i had a pretty good idea about all of the up lines
>stuff ahead of time, but one was not permitted to communicate about it
>if you were not INT cleared.
("Int" or "INT cleared" means given security clearance for top-level
management)
>My new Org was Called LRH Archives, There I was the Estates Sec at the
>ripe old age of 19. Life was twice as fast at Archives, yet there were
>fewer to get it all done. That is mainly because it is hard to get
>clearance I guess. I was trying to hold down a division that the last
>5 Estates secs had been routed to the RPF directly from only after an
>avg. of 3 mo on post. I'm proud to say that I lasted nearly 9 months but
>alas I to fell and was routed to the decks at INT. While on the decks
("On the decks" = on the physical labor schedule, as opposed to being
on study or auditing) Note: Some RPFers I knew spent 30 hours *straight*
"on the decks" and then 3 hours off for sleeping, for days at a time.
In accordance with RPF regulations they are made to RUN everywhere they
go (no walking allowed), cannot speak unless spoken to, must address
EVERYONE as "Yes, Sir", are allowed NO pay, NO time off, NO phone calls
to anyone on the outside, etc.
>I was on a full diet of sec checking and MEST work
("Matter, Energy, Space & Time" = hard physical labor)
>along with a few others from my org.
>
>At this point I believe we became sort of dead wood. Nobody really knew
>what to do about us, so we were routed onto the RPF one by one. I was
>feeling very abandoned at this point and I knew I was not long for the
>Sea Org. I asked to route out and was denied. I was yelled at and told
>that I was throwing away my freedom. The Gold security guard yelled me
>this info until I was so scared I peed in my pants. I was told to
>report to the RPF and that was final.
>
>My first day on the RPF was actually good. I worked my ass off. kid you
>not, RPF'ers work man! The same night I was getting routed into the
>RPF, when the RPF MAA
("Rehabilition Project Force Master At Arms" = "Ethics" Officer)
>came and told me that I was now going to the RPF's
>RPF.
("RPF's RPF" = one of the worst punishments Scientology administers,
called "rehabilitation". In fact it is an extremely harsh regimen
designed to break a person's will and enforce conformity.)
>Something snapped in me and I knew that I was being swept under
>the carpet. I had made ethics change and I was still being punished.
>this was a violation of policy. I was a messenger and policy was not
>being applied. I kept thinking if Ron was here he would understand
>and sort everything out. Sure I would get ethics, But it would be
>the right handling. As Ron was dead as a door nail I knew this was not
>going to happen. I did the only thing that I could do and terminated
>my contract with the Sea Org under the cover of darkness.
This usually means the person "blew", or left "without authorization"
(as if any is needed anyway) and without informing anyone.
>A week later I got a copy of my SP declare. Shit, I was quite the
>scum bag and never did anything right while in the Sea Org.
>
>Now it is 1997 and I am 27 yrs old. I still am not sure why I'm writing
>all of this, other then the fact that I believe something is wrong.
>I have been disconnected from my father and uncle for 6 yrs now. yet
>the whole reason I got into Scientology was to be able to communicate
>with my father better. Oh well.
>
>Here is to a better tomorrow :) Dylan Gill, A lurking thetan.
>
>***
>ttyl,
>martin.
>
>--
> Cogito, ergo sum.
>
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