I have taken some time to expose to you in detail what had happened to me at the "Flag Service Organization" ("Flag"), one of the Scientology organization´s major training and counseling centers, between 1986 and 1996, and what had happened that made me quit my staff member contract and membership with this group altogether. I am sorry if the mail has become a little longer as a result of that, but I sincerely hope you´ll find the time to read my lines. Because I believe in Freedom. And the people still within this system are not free (yet). Fact. And something has to be done about it. So here´s the story.

     While being at "Flag" in 1996 for advanced auditor (counselor) and case supervisor training, I met a woman from Philadelphia who was in training on the same program I was on. After several months of intense communication and relationship we decided to get married once our five-year contracts would be up and we were free to do so, having settled a replacement. She wanted to come to Berlin at the end of her contract with the Philadelphia organization and join me in my organization. None of all this violated any of the organizational policies as our plans were perfectly o.k. Yet, the "Sea Org" instructors (Sea Org, abbreviated "S.O.": the paramilitary group within Scientology that runs the international organization at management level) and executives responsible for the training program did not like our plans at all. In fact, they disliked it so much that they began to exert heavy pressure upon me and that woman to let go of our plans.

     As both me and that woman were very intent upon realizing our plans, we plainly refused to adher to any so-called "Base Orders" — regulations arbitrarily set up locally at Flag, and not in alignment, rather in contradiction, with organizational policy. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever in official policy that remotely justified the organization´s forceful interference with our plans. But, as you know, justice and common sense are, by this time, virtually non-existent in this organization.

     Several times we asked the executives to produce evidence — using organizational "green-on-white" policy, not local arbitrary "Base Orders" (which rank junior to the former) —, to show us that our plans were actually "out-ethics" and "off-policy". They couldn´t. So we said: "Unless you can produce evidence that our plans actually violate standard policy, there´s absolutely no cause nor reason for us to give up our plans."

     I also referred to two other trainees, a guy from Spain and a girl from Venezuela, who were at Flag with me on my first training cycle in 1986 and got married there. Back then, nobody had any objections whatsoever. Their plan to come together in Madrid at the end of their contracts was accepted at all levels. They did, too, later on. My mention of this rather contradictory and arbitrary handling of matters was met with utter ignorance and the comment "things have changed". "Oh yeah?", was my answer, "is there new organizational green-on-white policy that I haven´t heard about that sanctions your interference with what we plan to do?" Well, by now you know there wasn´t. Things started to get out of control for the executives of the training program, other students were talking about us and there was a touch of a rebellious atmosphere spreading through the program with its (by then) 200 trainees. This was a situation unbearable for those responsible for the training program at Flag. Here was a couple of students that undermined the S.O. executives´ "authority" (to set up their own arbitrary rules and regulations!) and ridiculed the celibacy attitude all students were supposed to adher to — or at least display — while being at Flag for training. It was time to act. And acting they did.

     Within 24 hours of exposing our plans we were subject to one of the most ruthless and horrendous "justice" actions that might have ever taken place at Flag against "civilian" students from outer organizations.

     I was literally jailed and locked away. Period. This was a blatant violation of organizational policy which explicitly states that detention is not part of the Scientology justice system. Yet, I was confined in a room without windows, about five square meters in size, for more than two weeks. I was not allow to leave the room nor go anywhere without a "watch", which meant some guard was always at my heels, following up on me all the way to the restroom. Fancy that... I could leave my "prison cell" only for lunch and dinner breaks — again "under watch". Yet, on the way to the dining room and back it was expressly forbidden for me to talk to anyone, be it fellow students, staff, public or people in general. I was virtually shielded off the public. This is the so-called "isolation trauma" strategy in mind control, chapter one, "breaking someone´s will power": "You are such a bad criminal, boy, we´ve got to protect the public from you!"

     Even public from my Berlin organization who were present at that time and who met me on the way were wondering what in the world is the matter...? Why can´t we talk to our auditor and case supervisor? And what are these bullies on either side of him there for...?

     This "treatment" was so grossly defying elementary human rights that it would out-perform any fascistic state easily. And that same "treatment" is being given many, many staff members, and even some of the public, here and now — today — within this organization! Somebody has to call these "Mini-Hitlers" to reason and tell them that this has got to stop. And enforce justice upon them, if they don´t pay heed. Larry Wollersheim is a pioneer in this regard. Maybe this is the turning of the tide. But it became even worse than old Adolf: Within these two weeks in isolation, I became virtually subject to a "strategic psychological warfare program" KGB style (advanced mind control) on the part of the S.O. executives at Flag against me, the like I have never experienced before. And I have seen some stuff. But not even during my survival and anti-psych warfare training at the German Air Force Academy in 1979/80 had I experienced such a dazzling assault on my personal freedom and sanity. The "isolation trauma" aforementioned was just the tip of the iceberg. Let´s call it Stage One. Because, it goes on, you know. And, as usual, in Stage Two — if you are still standing — next are "your files, you dirty boy".

     All my files — personal, counseling, post, ethics, etc. — were ransacked for any "crimes" and "high crimes" I had ever committed within those 12 years of activities for the organization. Finally, after a week of X-raying all available information on me, there were, all of a sudden, more than half a dozen technical charges I had to answer up to in a Committee of Evidence (a fact finding body within Scientology´´s "justice" system). It didn´t matter whether these things were already handled and made up with amends long before — I had to pledge guilty to all points in a new unit of time. Nothing less was accepted.

     The relationship thing was, of course, not enough to exert pressure upon me to let go of our plans, but by now I was confronted with every single, technical and otherwise, outness I had ever been engaged in — all over again. I was made to look like a heavy criminal. No need to mention that my contributions and performances as well as those thousands of hours of work for the organization in their HGC´s were plainly ignored. Talking about a hooded judge and jury, here you´ve got one. I still said: "Show me the evidence that our plans are actually "out-ethics"— please!" They still couldn´t. So they went psycho-terroristic, KGB Stage Two. And that looks like this:

     About every two or three hours a higher S.O. executive stopped by for a little "visit" in my cell to inform me that, with all those technical crimes committed, things wouldn´t look too good for me and that I would most probably be declared a "suppressive person" (meaning expulsion from the organization) — unless I would let go of my plans to marry that woman. "Excuse me?", I said, "I thought it were for all those technical crimes I supposedly had committed?"

     No. It wasn´t the technical crimes. It was their intention to destroy a relationship at any means.

     At that time, such a declare and an expulsion from the organization meant to me that my future was doomed. I still had the idea that I could only make it to spiritual freedom within this organization. The constant propaganda of "the Bridge (Scientology´s conseling and training program "to total freedom") as the only way out" still had its effects upon me.

     Yet, I still refused, because I just couldn´t believe that they would go that far and declare me for what had happened. So the game went on. After two weeks of this kind of mental torture and harassment with increasingly "bad news" for me, I was close to collapsing. But my pride — and Love — made me hold on to the plans mentioned. So they went on to KGB style, Stage Three.

     One night, I was ordered to see the ethics officer in charge for the training program. I was escorted to his office. Yet, instead of talking to me, he, for once, left the room for about five minutes. I was alone. I was looking over the desk of the ethics officer — and found the "Findings & Recommendations" of my Committee of Evidence "sticking out" most obviously in his pending basket. A quick glimpse at the findings informed me that I was about to get declared.

     I was shocked. I just couldn´t believe it. But there it was: They were willing to shoot and sack me, no matter what I had done for the organization in all these years. Today I know that these so-called "findings" in the ethics officer´s basket were a scam; it was not the official findings from the organization´s "International Justice Chief", it was a local fancy on the part of the execs of the program to serve their immediate needs. And it was arranged for me to be alone for a few minutes, become curious about what piece of paper with my name on in the ethics officer´s pending basket was all about — and to "find out for myself" what fate was awaiting me. Probably all filmed with hidden cameras, because right after my "discovery" the ethics officer returned to his desk with a strange grin on his face...

     At this point I surrendered. An expulsion from the organization would have meant that I wouldn´t be able to get together with the woman I wanted to marry anyway — unless they would declare both of us. But she wasn´t the target. I was. I had to sign a kind of "quit waiver" that I would not any longer engage in our original plans to get married. I did. What choice did I have?

     Now guess what they did with this piece of paper? Exactly: They showed it to her: "See? He wasn´t serious about his plans with you to begin with. He´s a liar and pretender. And you want to follow him to Germany...?"

     This maneuver was one of the most perverted, trickiest and dirtiest "handlings" I have ever experienced in my 43 years of living. She continued her training — I was expelled from the program. Within 24 hours of my signing this "waiver" I was hurriedly escorted to the airport and sent to the European Scientology headquarters in Copenhagen.

     My Committee of Evidence was still ongoing. What I didn´t know then: It would be ongoing for another half a year before the actual findings and recommendations were supposed to be published. Within this half year, I was forced to do hard physical labor — construction, painting, plumbing, bricklaying, repairs, etc. — at the threat of an immediate suppressive person declare and expulsion in case I would refuse to do so. A large portion of this work was done at nighttime (schedule from 4 p.m. till 7 a.m.) so that I was not able to have a regular daily lunch meal. After two months on this schedule, I was allowed to have a daytime schedule, because I was physically in very serious shape with still no medical treatment allowed.

     Finally, after six months of this heavy physical labor and deprivation, the ethics officer in the Europe headquarters ordered me into her office to inform me that my Committee of Evidence got cancelled. My certificates ("certs") stayed suspended, though. I asked what this was all about, as it didn´t make any sense to me. Why should my certs stay suspended when the result of the fact finding commission obviously was that I was "clean"? And why was I not given a chance to rectify those charges (out of which 80% were distorted and outright false) and rehabilitate myself? Her answer was more or less that I should "accept the outcome and don´t ask any further questions". And: I was finally allowed to return home — if I wouldn´t ask any further questions. After all these years, I wanted to return home finally. So I didn´t ask any further questions.

     Arriving back in Berlin, I was ordered to a meeting with a S.O. mission that was present in the Berlin organization at that time (January 1997). One of the missionaries opened up to me that I now would have to make amends to my local organization, that my certs would stay suspended, and that my rank within the org would be that of the lowest-ranking staff member in Division 6, the public division. I was ordered to distribute flyers and do some reception work back and forth.

     My mention that I had just done more than 2,000 hours of hard´n´heavy physical labor for the international organization as amends was met with deafening silence. "That doesn´t count", I was made to understand, as I would still have to "make up for the damage I had caused for my own organization". In order to make up for that damage, I would have to a) follow mission orders and keep working away for an indefinite length of time, and b) take certain courses to "handle my out-ethics" — of course at my own expense. Even though they knew I was as short on money as a staff member can be, and that my wife (who divorced me three months after I arrived at Flag in October 1994) had left me with thousands in debts on my (back then our) account, they ruthlessly enforced these sanctions upon me.

     This meant months, if not years, before I could return to my original post as senior case supervisor. But, grinding my teeth, I gave in.

     And now you´re in for a treat: As I just said, I was supposed to take certain courses as part of my "ethics handling". Yet, as I was "out-ethics", they would not allow me to enter the course room. Excuse me? By now I knew that this whole thing was a covert organized attempt at getting rid of me.

     The mountain of obstacles they had to use a Caterpillar for in order to shove them into my face before I could return onto my original post, the humiliation and deprivation of my honor, the sheer ignorance of my performances and achievements for the local and international organizations, the folly with "out-ethics, must study ethics courses", and "no study permission because you´re out-ethics" took on ridiculous forms — were it not so serious for me and my future within this organization. Up to that point I was still willing to do what was wanted to "handle my out-ethics" and rehabilitate myself, but it became more than obvious they would never let me back in.

     So I learned the hard way that I would not have a future within this organization any longer — they would make damn sure I wouldn´t. Finally, I took a step back, looked this over and decided to quit. Why should I still try to come back "in good standing" when all doors were continuously being slammed shut on me? Seven months after my arrival back in Berlin, and after seven months of trying in vain to bring those responsible for my "treatment" back to their senses, I ended my staff member contract. As my so-called "freeloader bill" (money for organizational services a staff member has to pay back when he breaks his contract) would have been in the several ten thousand dollars range, thus being another obstacle I would have to deal with for years on end, I decided to also quit my membership status half a year later.

     It took me about two years to recover from the nightmare that had happened between June 1996 at Flag and March 1998 back home. Time and again, in my dreams I found myself back in this organization, so that when I woke up sweating all over, I realized the nightmare was over — I was outside, not inside any longer. But those dreams were often more real than reality before I woke up...

     The subconscious trauma ceased slowly, and when those dreams became less and less and finally ceased completely, I knew I had finally made it out all the way. But justice hasn´t been done yet. Neither for me, nor for all those staff members and even public who are still being subjected to these same "treatments" defying all human rights and dignity. I would like to make all this public, so that people inside and outside of that system begin to see what horrifying activities are actually going on within this cult. For that purpose, I would be willing to file a lawsuit against the international organization in the USA and claim damages for the infamous treatment I was exposed to, described by me above. Because it´s not just me. It´s all those mental slaves that are still in the dungeon of this system, made to shut up — or sacked.

     The only problem: I don´t have the financial means to do so. So I am on the lookout for courageous people that would help me bring these fascists finally to justice. At any means. Because this can´t go on any longer. This must STOP. This organization has become a state within a state with human rights violations of such a severe criminal nature that this has to be exposed in all detail.

     Dear Mr. Lerma, I know this has been a long mail, but I think you understand why I have written you in such detail. If you would be in a position to support me in my plans and help put a stop to these criminal activities within Scientology, I — and not just I — would be very happy. The responsibility is with those who know what is going on within — and to speak out and put an end to this horror and torment.

Kind Regards,
Andreas Zantop
Berliner Strasse 143
D-10715 Berlin
phone# +49 30 861 20 51